The Ever-Changing World Of *Chris*!

~Wednesday, May 12, 2010~

"How great is our God"

After 5 whole months of procrastination, I'm finally back to blogging. Man, the post before this was made in January! (Warning! Long Post Ahead!)

And so time flies. As usual.

So what have I done during this period of time? 5 months is a span of around 20 weeks. That balances out to about 140 days!

Well, post-ORD life is brilliant. My brain is finally working hard again. Getting it to start was like starting a very cold engine: rusty, rough and a tad retarded. Just thinking critically and analytically became a very hard issue to do!

However, in no way am I implying that my national service was brainless, mundane and redundant. On the contrary, it was a (dare I say it?) very wholesome and fruitful experience. I still do cherish and reminisce every bit of it. To sound a tad trite, I saw a side of Singapore that I never knew existed. NS really cultivated many useful life-skills that I am thoroughly grateful for.

Yet, I knew very well that my comfort zone; my place of refuge (besides the Church), laid within the arena of towering book shelves, libraries and knowledge; the sphere of academia. I actually craved intellectual rigor. Call me crazy, sadistic and even masochistic but I do like the idea of being stretched mentally and psychologically.

It is a really simple analogy though. The satisfying feeling one has whilst stretching his/her sore muscles after an enduring exercise is an apt illustration of my present sentiments. To digress a bit and to sound geeky and nerdy, I would like to announce that "Prologue", the awesome bookstore at ION Orchard, is having a fantastic "3 books for the price of 2" offer! I think I really shocked the sales assistant who was helping me look for some books last week, when I was in Orchard with my folks.

In total, I bought 9 books. Taking into account the current promotion, each book was about $5/-. The original price of one was around $11/- . So in essence, I saved quite a fair bit of money. Then again, I always use the excuse that books are a form of investment and worthy of my expenditure. :P

The books are:

1. The Picture of Dorian Gray

2. The Great Gatsby

3. The Chimney Sweeper's Boy

4. The Mind of God

5. A Clockwork Orange

6. Six Easy Pieces

7. What is History (HAHA!)

8. The Classical World

9. Lolita

Anyway, enough of the nerdy digression! Back to the topic of my Life. Besides ORD-ing, other significant events (that I have limited to 3) that happened during the course of these months are:

1. Getting a job in CJC as a GP and Literature teacher.

It felt so weird to return to my alma mater to teach. Yes, the students are merely 3-4 years younger than me and yes, I'm teaching an entirely different Literature Topic paper than what I did in school but most importantly, coming fresh from NS, I was initially absolutely FREAKED OUT! The thought of teaching Literature or GP in a class of 17-18 year olds (who could probably sniff the 'smoke' that I was fluffing about) was really daunting. Moreover, having Mr Fahy, (Yes, you saw correctly. The brilliant thinker cum philosopher cum kick-ass literature buff in CJ) as a colleague added the already numerous knots around my aching neck. I turned 'Friendly neighborhood policeman' to 'Mr Chok, the Lit and GP teacher', literally overnight. (My first day of work in CJC was my first post-ORD day. Yep, you can say that I'm one heck of a workaholic.)

But in retrospect, things didn't turn out that bad. The initial inertia to sit down and actually read up on the texts that I was doing, was quite formidable. Often I found myself wondering what in the world was I doing. However, as with Physics (OMG, nerd alert!), things get better and easier once momentum sets in. I can't say for certain that I've mastered the book or that I am absolutely sure of all the poignant themes and issues in this book but I did my very best to deliver good (I hope) lessons.

It might sound very cliched, but delivering a good lesson leaves me feeling very satisfied. Doing so allows me to feel that I've done justice to not only the subject but most importantly, my students. Being ill-prepared for a lesson was one predicament that I avoided with a passion as I saw that as short-changing my students.

Yet, paradoxically, it is situations like these that leave me feeling rather pressurized at times. The workload coupled with administrative co-curricular activities and the many more expectations to meet can be rather hefty at times. Manageable, but hefty.

Being a teacher has really opened my eyes to many things within the school and the education system of Singapore. I have acquired new found respect to this career. As it is said, a career like this demands much more than dedication and commitment. It seriously requires heart-felt passion. Passion not only for the subject or the module but passion to help and invest in the next generation.

I know that the aforementioned sentiments might sound very trite and artificial. Heck, I can't believe that I actually articulated it in words. But, funnily, after my brief stint in the teaching line, I have actually adopted these strong feelings for this career.

Have I ever disliked the idea of going to work? No. :) (But I do abhor the insane hours that I have to wake up and go to work. It feels like NS Basic Training all over again! ECO COY FALL IN! WATER PARADE NOW!)

2. Lester's internship at SPH.

Yep, to me this is one extremely significant event that happened during the course of these few months. My best mate is doing an awesome internship at SPH. I have never read that many "Newpapers" in a span of a few months. But chancing upon his name; his 'by-line' makes me feel very happy. Heh.

All in all, I really do hope he'll get the scholarship. That genius of a writer really deserves it.

3. Confirmation of the New Zealand Bag-packing Trip!

Nothing beats the idea of spending 2 whole weeks in an awesome place with awesome company. So, it is confirmed then! Jeremy, Eugene, Lester and I will be embarking on a trip of a life-time. We'll be spending 2 entire weeks (or more) in Christchurch, New Zealand in July. I really take my hats off to the three of them for planning such an amazing itinerary and managing our logistics and lodging so well. I'm really grateful for you guys :)

I'm really looking forward to this trip. Sky-Diving, glacier walking, "Alpin-ing", culture discovering and "luge-ing" are just some of the many many activities that we'll be doing over there.

I. Can't. Freaking. Wait. :D

Yep, so that's about it then. I do hope this post does justice to the enormously long period of stagnation that my blog had to undergo. I aim to blog more in the near future. Till the next time, God Bless!

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~*Chris* Was Here At 9:06 pm~
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~Saturday, January 23, 2010~

"Remedy"

Well, this is really an outdated post. It is my first post of the new year! Haha!

A proper post will be up in due time.

But for now, I just wanna say how cool and sublime General Anesthesia was.

*

~*Chris* Was Here At 3:20 pm~
~~~

~Sunday, December 20, 2009~

"Do you remember"

Clearing leave is a soothing and satisfying feeling. This sensation is almost subliminal. I quite like it. ORD is finally around the corner. (It is about time really.) Time to move on to new challenges, scale fresh terrains and seek greater opportunities in Life.

In retrospect, the Kuching Trip was really good. It allowed me to make new friends and strengthen existing ones. It gave me the chance to get back in touch with Nature and to do some serious introspection and reflection. Above all, it gave me the avenue to get my spiritual life back in order; it gave me time alone with God.

Yet, to me, the aforementioned sentiments about time alone with God is a tad queer. So very often, I am indeed alone, enjoying solidarity and and relishing my much needed solitude. But, I really question God's actual presence amidst it all. Granted, the Bible says that God is an omnipresent and omnipotent being. But, in recent times, I really find it hard to feel His presence in my Life.

Only by being immersed in Nature; surrounded by the actual wonders and marvels of the Lord do I suddenly feel 'connected' with my spiritual self. Weird isn't it? Why is there a need for a change in enviornment for me to feel things differently? Does the external realm of things really play such a pivotal role in Life?

All in all, I did enjoy the feeling of being 'away' from it all. Away from the hustle and bustle of Life. Away from work and committments. Away from everything. You could call it a refuge of sorts. However, on the flip side of the coin, you could say that it was almost veering towards self indulgence; a means of an escape from reality.

In any case, whatever it is, I felt rejuvenated and refreshed by the entire experience. I went through some internal struggles, felt truly nourished by the sharing sessions and even grew to understand myself a bit better.

I've grown to realise that I am too much of a thinker. I think more than I feel. I trust and rely on my brains much more than my heart. I over analyse. I tend to second guess too much. Yep, I claim full responsibilites of my short comings. Then again, no one's perfect right?

Uncovering all these within me made me even more melancholic than relieved. Yet, I guess this is the very idea of 'surrendering' to and depending totally on God. Reality has taught me never to depend too much on someone, never to be too trusting and never ever to hold much expectations (lest one gets seriously disappointed). Therefore, I find it a struggle at times to rely totally on God.

My shortcomings and weaknesses then, are His strength.

And that is the personal Cross that I'll need to carry.

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~*Chris* Was Here At 10:03 pm~
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~Sunday, December 06, 2009~

"Have you ever seen the rain"

Commissioner's visit tomorrow.

Off to Kuching on Tuesday.

Wisdom tooth appointment (Hopefully extraction/general anesthesia on the spot), next Monday.

Looking forward to Christmas.

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~*Chris* Was Here At 9:19 pm~
~~~

~Saturday, November 07, 2009~

Haha! :)

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~*Chris* Was Here At 4:00 pm~

"Miles Away"

I have a BIG announcement to make.

Ahem.

To my dearest Piggy bank, I'm awfully sorry that I will have to break you soon. Sadly, this is an inevitable act.

Who's to blame?

The Apple Bug.

YES, I have been officially bitten by the Apple Bug. And it is itching horribly.

I'm going to get you soon. Very very soon. (Sorry Piggy.)

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~*Chris* Was Here At 3:20 pm~
~~~

~Thursday, October 29, 2009~

"Celebration"

Hmm. I've seem to lost the interest to blog recently. Oh well, lets see whether this will kick the inertia away and crank start the extremely rusty engine. (Read: Brain)

Life has been pretty good. I bought some really good books at "Prologue" which is, by the way, an awesome and extremely well stacked book-store. Completed a number of the books and I'm now wondering whether I should have just borrowed the books from the library.

Work has been pretty normal. My job scope is not mundane or prosaic; it is nothing of the sort, it is actually supremely interesting at times. It is just that, I've reached a point in my National Service period that I only have one and only one sole vision; one constant imagery in my mind - To ORD. And to ORD fast for that matter.

Doing some serious introspection recently, I've come to the striking conclusion that I've grown too comfortable with my current situation; my current lifestyle. I feel like it is a tad static. I can't advance forward and just waiting for time to pass by becomes seriously irritating at times.

Stasis.

Reading voraciously doesn't seem to solve the problem either. Do I really miss the intellectual rigour of studies and academia? I am really not sure.

Ray Kroc, the founder of Mac Donald's, once said a very profound quote:

When you're green, you grow. When you've ripen, you rot.

I fear that I may be verging towards the rotting side of the spectrum. :(

Anyway, enough of all the melancholy. The following items are the things that I'll be looking foward to (and with much anticipation) that should last till my ORD date. Boy, do I long for that day.

1. Kuching 2009 - I seriously need to meditate and rejuvenate myself at Mt Sinai.
2. Christmas! - Yes, call me a small boy. I do look forward to Christmas. :)
3. End of Year sale - I'm thinking of getting a Mac. I'll probably get it during the pre/post Christmas sale.
4. Endless opportunities after I ORD.

Yes, so there it is. I've kicked aside the nagging inertia and now it'll be an interesting challenge to see how long I can sustain this momentum.

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~*Chris* Was Here At 6:38 pm~
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~Sunday, September 20, 2009~

"One"

My birthday was simply amazing.

It was filled with the quirky surprises, touching SMSes, lovely presents and splendid company.

Man, I'm simply lost for words.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Thank You.

A proper retrospective view of my teenage experiences and memories will be up in due time. Right now though, I'm just lost for words. (Gasp, I repeated that twice.)

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~*Chris* Was Here At 2:37 pm~
~~~